THE WALLACE BROS. CHEAT DEATH, RELEASE MOST POPULAR WEDDING SONG OF ALL TIME

For Immediate Release—A pair of Phoenix retirees with seven previous marriages between them. A twenty-something Brooklyn power couple, dewy with hemp milk and decked in recycled lace. A common-law couple from Peoria who decided to make it official when they noticed the justice of the peace was just down the hall from the DMV.

Every story is different, but the song is always the same.

Since its release on February 14, 2017, the Wallace Bros.’ Valentine’s Day Single “Where You Go (Song of Ruth)” has quickly become the most popular wedding song in the history of humankind, handily crushing competition from previous stalwarts like Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love” (originally penned by Bob Dylan for Garth Brooks), and Jack Johnson’s execrable “Better Together.”

The song was recorded in the wake of Mark’s escape from the jaws of death, when the private jet he had chartered for a joyride across the Deep South was downed by a freak lightning storm, and foundered in an Alabama swamp. In a stroke of modern history oddly reminiscent of St. Patrick’s escape from Ireland on a ship full of Irish wolfhounds, the hold of the jet, unbeknownst to Mark, was full of puppies: part of a lucrative smuggling operation by the pilot, who later proved to have no credentials either as a pilot or breeder.

Regaining consciousness, Mark provided the pilot, who was trapped in the wreckage, with a week’s supply of soda and crackers, then led the several dozen puppies on an epic twenty-mile journey to the nearest gas station.

But after all forty puppies were safely within the doors of the Valero’s convenience store, Mark spurned offers of medical assistance and went directly to the nearest studio, where he and his sister Carey recorded both “Song of Ruth” and a B-Side, “Baby Get Better.” 

In a departure for the band, in which Carey usually writes lyrics and often melodies, both songs were completely authored by Mark.

“It was such a moment of clarity,” Mark said, musing on the near-death experience.  “It was almost as if a voice spoke to me, and said, ‘You stupid ****, what do you mean there’s no recording of those songs?  You almost died.  Get into the studio.  Lay those tracks down.’”

“Me,” his sister added.  “That was me.  I’m the one who said that.”

The Wallace Bros.

The Breitbart Interview

CW: Thanks for meeting with us. We were a little surprised to hear you’d be open to an actual conversation.

Breitbart: Are you kidding, man? Thank you. I’m a fan. I mean, a big, big fan.

CW: Aw, thanks. It’s just, with the proceedings about to begin..

Breitbart: Proceedings?

MW: We INVENTED fake news, man. You owe us royalties on that s***.

Breitbart: Wait, is there a.. lawsuit?

MW: You can thank Carey for that, man. I was just going to break out your back window and take your laptop, Detroit-style.

Breitbart: They never give me a straight answer about anything. When I applied for this job, the guy told me it was with the New York Times.

CW: So you’re not an attorney.

Breitbart: No, man. I just have some questions here. About the new record.

MW: What kind of questions?

Breitbart: Well, Song of Ruth – it seems kind of, I guess, biblical?

CW: What do you mean by that?

MW: Plagues and floods? 

Breitbart: I mean, I looked it up. The chorus is actually from the book of Ruth. I guess it’s kind of popular to read at weddings. But as I understand it, in the actual story, the woman’s actually saying that to her.. mother-in-law?

MW: Yes! Right! I don’t understand why they don’t point that out at weddings. It would make them a whole lot more interesting.

CW: Actually, it’s a little more complicated than that. Modern English translations describe Ruth as the wife of Naomi’s son, which would make Naomi her mother-in-law. But I’ve heard an Old Testament scholar point out that the words used there actually indicate a different kind of relationship: foreign women who men took into their homes, but never honored or treated as wives. It’s not clear that women entered these relationships freely. So on the death of Naomi’s son, Ruth may have felt more like an escapee than a widow. And in any case, her prospects for marrying any other respected man were very slim.

Breitbart: That’s dark.

CW: I think it makes everything in the story even more remarkable. In that situation, Naomi and Ruth could easily have hated each other. Instead, a lifelong bond develops. And it also upends stereotypical notions of brides and grooms. According to any interpretation, Ruth is hardly a blushing maiden. And Boaz talks about how grateful he is that she chooses him instead of a younger man. These are both people who have been deeply marked by life, before they find each other. The one thing they’ve got in common is strength. The name Boaz means “the strong one.” And the word he uses to describe Ruth is translated “noble character” – but it literally means “strong in every way.” In other places, it’s used to describe military leaders in battle. Some Jewish translations use the word “valor,” which is a lot more to the point. 

Breitbart: And your B-Side is called “Baby Get Better.” A reference to your experiences with the medical community after your plane crash?

CW: Actually, he wrote that before the crash. It’s not about him. It’s about hoping someone will get better, so you can be together.

Breitbart: I feel that way ALL THE TIME. But I’ve never heard a song about it!

MW: Right??

Breitbart: And I hear you enlisted some new talent on this project.

MW: Well, we recorded with Geoff at Big Sky, who we love. But then Carey met this guy Andy and his wife at Nobu.

CW: Turns out he worked on pretty much all of Mark’s favorite records.

MW:  The Breeders. Rufus Wainwright. The Yo La Tengo albums that made me want to record songs.

CW: And he’s right down the block in Brooklyn.

MW: So we go down there with our tracks and he starts tossing them into his Neve..

CW:  We’re texting each other from the same room because we’re too scared to talk out loud.

MW: And then all of a sudden it sounds so good.  

CW: So good we actually both get weepy.

Breitbart: Wow.

CW: Except I could never get him to break out the plug-in that makes you sound like Kim Deal.

MW: There isn’t a plug-in for that. You actually have to sing like her.

CW: No, he’s got one. I know he does.

MW: So we went back and mixed a whole record of Greatest Hits with him the week before Christmas.

Breitbart:  That’s amazing! I mean, when do we get to hear it?

CW: Andy was asking that same thing. He was like, “So have you played it for anyone?” 

MW: I mean, we’re still listening to it ourselves.

CW: “Have you played it for your parents?”

MW: I guess we could play it for Mom and Dad.

CW: I don’t know.  Do you think it’s ready?

Breitbart: Well, in any case, you have just gifted your eager public with two brand new tracks.  And in a departure from the Valentine’s Singles of recent years, they’re both originals.

CW: Well, we didn’t want anyone to forget that we can actually write our own songs.

MW: I’m sorry, “we”?

Breitbart: And they’re such great songs. They’ve just got this kind of, I don’t know, unity of voice. They’re so simple, so direct – and yet, so original. I don’t think the two of you have ever done better work together.

CW: Well, I don’t know if I’d go quite that far.

MW: Thanks, man.

CW: I guess he only keeps me around now because he can’t sing falsetto.

MW: What are you talking about? I have a great falsetto.

Breitbart: Oh my gosh, yeah, it’s crazy great. It’s always the best part of an album, when Mark sings falsetto.

MW: Maybe I should record a whole record in it.

CW: That would kind of be my favorite record of all time.

MW: You know what I realized when I had the accident?

Breitbart: I hear you find out a lot about who your friends are when something like that happens.

CW: We already knew we have great friends. That’s why we’ve been sending the love out for ten years.

MW: I thought it was fourteen. Didn’t we start in 2004?

CW: It’s like, ten out of fourteen.

MW: Seventy percent love.

CW: It was more like, we got to see the love in action. People sending us trail mix and homemade cookies and poems and pictures and cards, loaning us their family prayer icons, texting us verses every day, bringing casseroles, driving us to the airport in the middle of the night, washing our sheets before we got home. 

Breitbart: I never had a girlfriend do that for me.

CW: Our friends have valor.

Breitbart: And it’s remarkable, actually, that you were able to get this tenth Valentine’s record out. Because last year’s plane crash happened right around this time last year, if I’m not mistaken. Within just a few weeks of the release of your Valentine’s Single.

CW: Yeah, last year Mark was coughing like crazy while we were trying to record.

MW: She was like, “Don’t cough on me. You’ll give me the cancer.”

Breitbart: But you were saying you had realized something, after the crash.

MW: Yeah. When I started listening to those tracks we did with Andy at Christmas, I realized, “Wait a minute.  These are my favorite songs.” And I got to make them. Somehow, I wound up in my favorite band.

Breitbart: The Wallace Bros. are the Wallace Bros.’ favorite band.

CW: I don’t know what took him so long. We’ve been my favorite band since we recorded our first song.